February 26, 2019 Deep Culture in the Elementary Classroom

My culture, my Heritage, my interpretation of life...

The Oscar´s Nomination for Best Actress this year catapulted a beautiful Mexican girl. There were many sayings in the newspaper and media. The movie portraits the work and life of a domestic servant in Mexico in the 70´s. The director showed how people live and how the domestic servants worked and stayed most of the time in their employers home. 

Many people loved the movie and some others didn´t. I liked it because it helps to deep in to Mexican Culture, even though many years have passed there are many things that haven´t change, as the legal rights of the domestic servants, also the focus on families and trials and strengths.

When I was a teenager my best friend had her nana, she called nana to her domestic servant, she was more than that, she feed them when the went back to school, she helped them with homework and took care  of them, their parents came back from their jobs or other activities until it was night, so for them  the nana was having the role of mom and dad at the same time. 

For me it was hard to understand my friend how she talked about her nana and their complicity. Now with this movie I can understand a little bit more. How great it would had been if back then our teacher would help us to understand our culture paradigms. 

We as teachers must and can help our students to know these huge world, with so much differences and so alike at the same time. Professor Iver's said: 

Exposure to cultural diversity may form students to may form  new neural connections in the brain to be able to sufficiently interpret meaning in things to they are not accustomed.

How can we introduce and deep in students in new cultures, and not just sharing favorite dishes, customs?

Attributional Tendencies, lesson 6

Attributional tendencies

Professor Iver, from BYUI taught in an class;Attributional tendencies refer to what do we attribute success, to what do we attribute our personal failures, to what do we attribute the successes of others, to what do we attribute the failures of others. In our culture, in all cultures, we're always attributing things to other things, like other causes. I'll give you some examples here in a minute.

There is a popular in saying in my country, De tal palo tal astilla, which means, Like father like Son, such saying declares that our children are like the consequence of our good or bad teaching. When our kids are misbehaving, we feel as we have failed, and when they are gaining progress we feel succeeded,  but are really the parents responsable for  all their children decisions, either good or bad?

For some cultures they are, and also the children try their best to honor their parents by their achievements.  For some cultures success means getting an education,  having a family, being married, or having a great job, or having children. As you can see every culture attributes succeed or failure to what they determined as good or wrong, or to an inner or outer influence. In some cases it is irrational and in some is understandable.

For example in my country many years ago it was not good seen that men make home shores because it was attributed to only female as their queen of home, but lately rules have change. It is taught  that since we all partake of the benefits of home we all must take care of it. An since many woman have a job, man also can help with home shores.

In some cultures parents are in charge of their children marriage, they choose not just the wedding gown but also the groom or bride. Would you accept that? Maybe yes or maybe not, but if it was your culture paradigms you would see it natural.

It is time to realized that we as cultures have different attribution tendencies and that those differences exist but they can gather us instead of separate us. In a TESOL classroom, there might be different attributed tendencies, for some cultures respect  for the teachers means, absolute submission, and for some students and teachers are equal, so it will be good to find out what tendencies have your students to better help them in the process of learning.

02-21-2019 Lesson 7 Cultural and Pshychology

OUGHT SELF V.S. REAL SELF AND SELF-ESTEEM

I have being married for more than 21 years, at the beginning of our marriage my husband and I planned our family who was in charge of things, so he was going to be the provider and I was going to be in charge of raising our future children and our home. I become a stayed home woman, and then we had our first kid, we had heard that I shouldn´t work out of home so I didn´t.

We struggle financially very much, but we still kept our family plan.  In my country there are a lot of woman that work and raise their children, and it is acceptable.  After some years I met some of my coworkers and students and they were wonder why I didn´t have a job. Some of them asked me if my husband was a macho. But we were trying to follow the advice to be a stayed home mom to raise my children.

It was around 7 years ago when I started to make cakes for selling, I felt good and to be honest my self-esteem was higher than my first years of marriage. I don´t mean that I didn´t enjoy being a stayed home mom, I loved it and I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to raise my children and be able to live every experience possible with them, but I needed something where I could develop my talents and feel that I was being productive.

Then I joined the Pathway Program and BYUI online later.  So after these years I realized that I needed more, my culture stated an ought self I must pursue, a married woman, with children and a job, a career, that would be a succeeded woman.

At the beginning of my years of  going back to my education path I realized that I spent a lot of time at my school assignments, until one day after many arguments my husband told me that he was afraid he was loosing his wife and my kids their mom.  In pursue of becoming a succeed woman I change my priorities and I became a selfish woman, I was blessed that I could understand my mistakes and made some changes I am still getting an education but now I am focused on becoming and learning little by little going one step at a time.

We all have different ought self v.s. real self that are determined in our culture, but in order to succeed which means to become the best version of ourselves  we must consider what to do, when and how to do it, even if it is not what our society determines. In as much as your real self connects with the ought self  your self-esteem will become higher.

In the past girls didn´t pursue an education many of my friends only got a High School diploma, but lately our cultural ideas changed and many are getting prepared and receiving an education which is very inspiring. Now in my classroom I try to guide my female students to keep on the hard work and don´t stop until they get a degree, just as their bothers and male friends because we can do it too.

I chose my culture ought self which is no Mexican culture  but it is the culture of a disciple of Jesus Christ and I will have to make many changes but I know they will be worthy and will bring me real happiness and joy.

Difference in Manners, February 19, week 7

GOOD MANNERS 

What is good in Asia, must not be good in Europe. Imagine that you are visiting your fiance at China,  so you are going to give your first impression to your future parents in law, you must know that when you gather to eat good manners in China means that:

• You may lift your bowl to mouth level and use chopsticks to push rice into your mouth. ...
• Unlike in the West, spitting small bones out onto your plate or an empty bowl is acceptable. .
• Serving utensils might not be present.
• If you are provided a cloth napkin, tuck the corner under your plate so that it hangs in your lap. This also prevents it from falling onto a possibly dirty floor.
• Never play with chopsticks as if they were sticks for drum.
• And so many more.

In this world we don´t have to go to another country to meet people from all around the world, almost in every country we have the opportunity to share space and time with other cultures. Being educated requires also to learn of other cultural manners. 

So next time that you meet someone of other culture try to learn about their manners and be respectful, 

Professor Ivers, from BYUI, give us some good advices he taught during a class:

Loud music is tolerated in some Hispanics countries.

Time period in South America  is more than 10 minutes is almost 30 minutes so don´t feel b ad if your appointment starts a little more than 5 minutes after you were supposed to.

Blowing your nose in public in America is acceptable but not in Asia.

In the Middle East showing the bottom of your foot is considered insulting.

Don´t use the first name unless everybody does it.

He said: " Members of the Afghan army killing American soldiers. Some of those killings have been linked to cultural insults that would not have been insulting in the United States. Some of them had been linked to American soldiers laying down on the ground, pointing the bottom of their shoes toward that person. An American soldier doesn't think anything is  happening. The Afghan takes it as an insult. Another, there's other things been linked to, you know how in America, sometimes, like in a sport situation and you do a good job, these sports players are patting, banging each other on the rear end? You know? Sometimes American soldiers do that. That would be an offense to Afghans. So, anyway, they're starting now to train the American soldiers in cross-cultural differences. And, of course, a lot of the insider killings are religiously motivated, but there's a lot of cultural differences."

So knowing other manners would stop wars, wouldn´t it be important to instruct our students on the matter?

Consider studying the following 13 good and bad manners examples.
 https://people.howstuffworks.com/13-examples-of-good-and-bad-manners-around-the-world5.htm

Cross Cultural Students, February 19, lesson 7

EGALITARIANISM

All men are created equal, Thomas Jefferson

I had just been twice at Disneyland but I loved it specially the Small World Ride.
https://youtu.be/iJFGAX77zw4

So many cultures, so different and so equal at the same time. Do you really see a difference between these children? Yes there are but only on the outer, inside we all are equal.

In a classroom there could be students from different cultures,  some more expressive and some less expressive, some can jump and shout when they get an A or can say without any expression " OK" like if it didn´t matter. An it doesn´t mean they don´t care but they express their feelings in different ways.

In a classroom the teacher must know about the culture paradigms of  Expressivity, wether  it is High like in the Hispanics culture, or low like in Asian cultures, where they limit their comment and never disagree with the professor because that will mean disrespect.

So differences can change our value? No and that won´t change their value, all men and women have the same value, we all are children of God, and are his creation, He loves us, we have trials, goals, joy and and weakness, There is no a perfect human being nor a perfect culture, but we all can understand  that differences doesn´t determine the value of each person.

It will be very enriching to understand others cultural paradigms.

February 16 th, Personal Space

PERSONAL SPACE IS SACRED FOR SOME CULTURES... IS IT FOR YOU?

Have you ever heard your little kids arguing and and saying things like:
You are touching my chair, or you are breathing my air, or you are looking at me!
Really! Does it really bothers them?

I am hispanic and I live in a city of  1,321 milliion people. We have problems of very crowded busses at rush hours, some of my kids get the bus daily, but I pick up the little one, When I have to pick her up an take a bus, she gets mad,  she doesn´t like to be touch by others, or been in a crowded bus,  I would say that she believes that her personal space is sacred. Is it for me?

In a recent research of personal space that focused on the brain mechanisms, specific areas of the brain contains neurons that monitor the space around the body and they track objects. These reurons are almost like radar firing signals when something looms close, thir activity risins to a frenzied peack if the object touches. When those neurons become highly active, the feed directly into our movment control, subtly adjusting our movement or, in extreme cases, causing finching or cringing. It impacts our sense of sef, our ability to use tools, our culture and our social and emotional behavior, which means to be human. (1)

So next time that your kid doesn´t want to sit next to a unknown person in the theater, don´t think he is being rude, he is just protecting  his personal space. I have my own sacred personal space. Ones I was talking with my daughter best friend dad, he stood up to closed to me, I gave one step back and he one step to me, I did that so many times and felt so bad, so next time I was going to see him, I walk away immediately because I didn´t want to talk with him anymore.

Imagine that we all have a portable air bubble which determines our personal space, for some is a little bubble specially for those who grew up in a big city, since they need to share their s pace in their apartment or at the bus or at the mall. On the contrary a person that grew up in town with low population sems to have a giant air bubble, we can see how they extend their arms to shake hands, like saying stay thre, don´t cross the line, and the other one seems to be more invasive, he even touch his elbow. 






So we all have sacred  personal spaces the difference is the wide or narrow space,  How would this information help you  when someone invade your personal space?



1.-  http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap9.html

February 14th, Individualism v.s. Collectivism

Individualism v.s. Collectivism

I grew up in a family of 9 children, my mom and dad. When I met my husband we were teenagers, he told me one day, that they were afraid of saying bad things to any of us, because if they did we all gather and protect the member of the family, so they were afraid of us. He thought of us as a very strong brotherhood, and yes we were, I say we were because as time passed by, we have to make our lives and almost all of the 8 moved away from here, leaving me with with my new family. We are still a strong family but each member now leaving apart and growing up their new family, but sometimes we gather for a Family Reunion.

When I heard of individualism and collectivism which is group oriented I thought oh, my family was group oriented and yes we have the goal to be an Eternal family but now I can see that we are also individualistic because we followed our dreams and make some changes to fulfill them even if it required us to leave the family home.

Why is it so important to understand these concepts in culture? How would it help us to understand other cultures?

First  every part of culture is important, culture is a pattern of values and  behaviors that are shared and transmitted from generation to generation by the members of a social group. 

According to the article, Part III Continuum of Individualistic and Collectivist Values, " Nearly three-fourths of the worlds cultures can be describes a collectivist.(Triandis, 1989).
So each member of the family or the society working on be half their community and not just themselves. On the contrary individualistic, works to make them self sufficient, self determined, self reliant with an independent living. So as you can see we can have both being responsible for our personal growth and at the same time contributing to the society to whom we belong.

Let´s see the constrast of both values.

Table 4. Contrasts in Emphasis between Common Collectivistic and Individualistic Values

Continuum of Values
Collectivistic	Individualistic
Interdependence	Independence
Obligations to others	Individual rights
Rely on group	Self-sufficiency
Adhere to traditional values	True to own values and beliefs
Maintain traditional practices	Continuously improve practices (progress)
Fulfill roles within group	Pursue individual goals/interests
Group achievement	Individual achievement
Competition between groups	Competition between individuals
Group or hierarchical decision-making	Self-determination and individual choice
Shame/guilt due to failing group	Shame/guilt due to individual failure
Living with kin	Independent living
Take care of own	Seek help if needed
Property shared within group	Strong individual property rights
Elders transmit knowledge (often oral)	Individuals seek knowledge (often textual)
Objects valued for social uses	Objects valued for technological uses

According to this table I would say that we must find balance within these two values because of them are good. And we must understand others cultures because they also have pros. in ther individualism or collectivism. Don´t you think?

http://www.ncset.org/publications/essentialtools/diversity/partIII.asp

DIFFERENCES IN EMOTIONAL EXPRESIVITY.

One day I took my children to San Diego, CA. USA. We were at Walmart, suddenly my little girl ran unto me and hold me very tight, there were a couple of girls talking very loud and seemed very emotional, expressing themselves yelling at each other. I ask my little girl if she was ok. she said she was afraid because those girls were fighting. They were not fighting but since my little girl didn´t understood what they were saying she just heard them yelling and being very noisy she thought they were fighting.

We as mexicans are use to express our emotions but for my girl those girls expressions beyond the limits so hee misunderstood them. We live in a world of many differences from culture to culture, some have low emotional expresivity like Asian, and some have high emotional expresivity like people from El Salvador.

According to  Guy Winch, Ph. D. in his  Psycological site all the people express their emotions in private almost the same, but in public there are differences: 

 When it came to overall reporting of emotions, the most ‘emotional’ country in the world is The Philippines, followed by El Salvador and Bahrain, Oman and Columbia, Guatemala, Bolivia, Peru, Ecuador, and Nicaragua (the United States came in as the 15th most emotional country). The least emotional country in the world was Singapore, followed by Georgia, Lithuania, Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, and Kazakhstan.

Do you think that this information will help you to understand other cultures reactions wouldn´t it be easier to uderstand why some people shout and talk loudly or don´t feel embarassed to cry or laugh, or never show any expression?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201211/which-countries-are-most-and-least-emotional

CULTURAL MISCOMMUNICATION.

Have you ever being in a situation that you think  that a certain person, from a different culture, seems to  be a snub and at the end when you get to know him you realized He is such a good person.

I have  a cousin that grew up in Mesa, Arizona, when we were teenagers I went with my branch to Mesa, AZ Temple, we drove for more than 9 hours, from where I used to live. I introduce her a friend with whom I had a crushed. The next day when she came to say hi, I was in shock to see her talking with my friend instead of me, I was very mad with my cousin, I couldn´t believe she was trying to get him. Wel actually that was a misunderstanding, when I told her he was my friend I didn´t tell her that I liked him, back then I was shy and I thaught she would understand.  The last day of visiting she said she like this guy so much she didn´t realized that I did too and she was sincere.  So I learned that with her I have to tell things as they are and not pretend that she would figure it out.

There are many miscommunication with people, specially with cultures, for some moving head up and down means yes, but not for the Bulgarian, and moving head side to side means yes according to professor Ivers from BYU-I, so how can we go through the world com municating with every person without being afraid of a miscommunication even being rude.

I have seen a lot of movies were the students at first don´t like each other they have fights and differences but then when they get to know and learn about the others culture start to understand each other and realized that there are similarities thatn differences.

I think in school there should be a class where students learn about the differences of cultures, so they will be able to understand more and have less problems with others.

02.05-2019 Cultural Differences concerning TIME

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” ..  Time is what we want more, but what we use worst. William Penn

Monochronic v.s. Polychronic

There are two visions when we talk about time, the one that considere the time as something sacred, that work on schedules, procedures and tasks, and the polychronic which works based on emotions, family, friends, and that time can wait for the rest of the things but first family and love one´s.

I live in a country that is polychronic, you can do what you want if you have friends, connections. Last year a friend of my daughter went back from his mission, he was late to enroll to college so since grandpa is a principal at College, they went to talk with him and ask him to help him to get enroll. And it happened, just like that.

I have being planning to open a restaurant for the past 2 years but since I don´t have the connections and friends I haven´t be able to have the permissions I need to open it. This is a country where for us is very important to have friends and connections, as part of our culture we can change schedules, procedures, tasks, as we want, and sometimes is not fair, to be honest is never fair, but sometimes it has a positive imparct and som
etimes a negative impact on us. It was good for my daughter fiend, but not fair for my permission to set a restaurant.


On the contrary in the monochronic people can have the assurance that if someone says I am going to do it, they will do it, if they say is going to be on a certain time then it will be done on that time. Like my friend of the United States.

But which is better? I was wondering that talking about church, when I go to the Temple the sessions are always on time,  the conferences, even the speakers are always on time. But is not the same story at our stake activities,  nor the Sacrametnal meetings, why?  Because we bring our culture polychromic, and despite we know that we must be on time, sometimes we say we must wait for the rest of the members that are not here yet. To be honest this is embarassing, becuase we waist the precious time of the one´s that are on time.
But the great questions would be, how do we change from polychronic to monochronic? Is it worthy or should we have some of both? How can we judge when should be one or the other way?

I personally think that Jesus gave an example of being on time, His time, not ours, When his friend Lazarus was sick his sisters Mary and Martha:"... sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick." 
Jesus stayed where he was for two more days,  he didn´t leave his mission. After he went to see Lazarus which has passed away already.
"...Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.

22 But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give itthee.  23 Jesus saith unto her, Thy brother shall rise again.

And he did, our Savior is our guide, we must follow him,  so we must let the holly spirit to guide our path so we can be on time where ever we must be, in His time, in His way so we can enjoy it and make good use of our precious time.

02-05-2019 Week 5. Response to Cultural Paradigms

A couple of years ago, I was visiting my mom, who moved to Salt Lake City, Utah. She was making tamales for saling, usually when dad went back home from his job, he went to sell them with his customers. But day dad was not going to be able to sell them because he had some things to do immediately. I told my mom that I could help her, she said no, but I insisted. So we got the tamales and we drove in the neighborhood, I jump out of the car whenever I see people outside in their yards, specially when I saw hispanics, for my surprise, no one want to buy my tamales. I also felt embarassed when a woman told me they didn´t like mexican food and she asked me to go away or she was going to call the cops. I felt so embarassed. Why, what did I do wrong?

After thinking about it, and my dad´s advice, I realized  that contrary to what we as mexicans do in the United States the informal business is not to popular, it is also illegal, people are not use to receive sales man or woman door by door. I also realized that not all latins or hispanics like mexican food, yes I kinow, it is common, but I didn´t know how many hispanic cultures are in the United States. For me as mexican offering food door by door tamales, or sweet bread, water is very popular, we are used to hear people selling outside our home and we are happy to hear that the tamale man is near by. But for other cultures this is not normal, it actually is illegal, or represent the low class trying to make their living.

Why so much differences it is what is called Cultural Paradigms. Cultures set different rules or interpetations and even if they don´t sound natural or even wise those are their paradigms and we must respect them each other differences.

It would be such a wonderful world if we all have the same Paradigms, but because there are so many differences we must learn about other cultures paradigms to better understand their decisions and actions.

In a classroom a teacher that understands each student can better help them to understand the teachings and in TESOL the new culture and language.

Please don´t be afraid if a tamale man or woman  knocks your door maybe like me she or he doesn´t know about your culture. Don´t afraid of differences, if someone is thin, or fat, or yells, or talk quietly, if  he or she has good manners maybe what is good for you is bad for him,  at the end we all are human trying to succeed in this life.